what do you want
... I assure you the truth is precisely the opposite
I feel that some people overlook the fact that THIS:
"You mistake my choice not to feel as a reflection of my not caring, while I assure you the truth is precisely the opposite"
… essentially is the closest of a declaration of love coming from a vulcan and this guy in particular. Seriously.
[For some reason it did remind me of this from one of the novels, the whole misunderstanding and her thinking he didn’t care when it was quite the opposite for him]
while we wait for the sсript, let’s talk about the version from the novelization as well:
“To even consider the idea of one’s death affecting a loved one would be so painful,” the science officer continued, “that the only logical option in that moment would be to choose to feel nothing instead. (..).”
Though he could not see Uhura, who was seated facing away from him, he looked back in her direction as he spoke. “Nyota, you misunderstand my choice not to feel at that moment as an indication of not caring, while I assure you the truth was exactly the opposite.”
[.. and when he thinks he will die in that volcano he thinks about the sense of loss and a relationship left unfinalized _-_ (and you know he was thinking about her and how he’d never get the chance to make their bond official the vulcan way; It essentially is a prologue to that speech in the ship later.) ]
Listen.to.what.this.guy.is.telling.her.and.love.him.forever
That whole speech is so beautiful and real and damn painful.
She says: you didn’t care about us, you didn’t care about me and how I would feel.
He says: no, the truth is the opposite. I chose to not feel because I love you too much and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you and the thought of how my death could affect you (and he knows how she’d feel. Oh he knows! because he felt that when his mother died and it hurts so fucking much to even think that Nyota would feel that too and for his fault)
In short: it’s not that I don’t feel, it’s that I feel too much.
and his face.. his face! the tone of his voice… it’s just too much for my poor little heart.
and maybe Kirk is right, it’s not a love song (wanna kiss him there for trying to help Spock) but it’s damn honest and effective and profound. The writers made him say that he loves her without making him cheesy or OOC*
..and her face says is all:
..because she gets it.
[*that’s the second time they do that, by the way. Remember that "in the event that I do not return please tell lieutenant Uhura.." that is basically more effective without him completing the phrase than with him actually saying it, IMO. It’s the fact that he doesn’t need to. It’s him trying to tell her, him thinking to tell her even with what it means for a vulcan, him willing to share something so personal with a guy that was still a stranger for him only because he wanted her to know. THAT is enough.]
/why was i given feels
(c) lucystillintheskywithdiamonds.tumblr.com/post/5...